Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
