Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
