I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
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