I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Randomize
