Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
So much rum. So many feels.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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