but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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