He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
