Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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