My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
