it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Dick very happy bro
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