David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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