I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
