Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
