I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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