you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
