You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
