i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
