He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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