Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize