so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
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