He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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