you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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