you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
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I think I sprained my soul last night
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
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Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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