Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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