just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
