Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
sarcasm needs its own font
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
