is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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