So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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