He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize
