its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
So squirting runs in the family.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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