You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
My liver is preforming stress tests.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
