Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
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