you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
