Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
