Little spoons don't ask big questions
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
