I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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