Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
