I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.