TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.