Texts From Last Night

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  (818): View more from California

  Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics

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  (818): Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics http://tfl.nu/kq58
  Replies (44) Good night (1683) Bad night (4412)
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  (916): View more from California

  Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.

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  (916): Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life. http://tfl.nu/lqwm
  Replies (17) Good night (1292) Bad night (3557)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.

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  (336): I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable. http://tfl.nu/7b9p
  Replies (12) Good night (3479) Bad night (1626)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.

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  (717): We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation. http://tfl.nu/p6jv
  Replies (43) Good night (1329) Bad night (4584)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...

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  (781): Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa... http://tfl.nu/bbhr
  Replies (18) Good night (5038) Bad night (1058)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.

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  (312): My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug. http://tfl.nu/uu90
  Replies (12) Good night (1232) Bad night (3221)
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."

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  (601): You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka." http://tfl.nu/g6um
  Replies (6) Good night (3498) Bad night (881)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.

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  (419): I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation. http://tfl.nu/3fs0
  Replies (3) Good night (1736) Bad night (738)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.

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  (978): The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty. http://tfl.nu/l80d
  Replies (10) Good night (2050) Bad night (550)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi

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  (832): Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi http://tfl.nu/cj6k
  Replies (10) Good night (1317) Bad night (959)
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.

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  (601): I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work. http://tfl.nu/dzc4
  Replies (0) Good night (470) Bad night (280)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS

  (1-443): View more from Maryland

  excuse me?

  (443): View more from Maryland

  I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.

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  (443): THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS (1-443): excuse me? (443): I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car. http://tfl.nu/t356
  Replies (1) Good night (817) Bad night (450)
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  (231): View more from Michigan

  He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.

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  (231): He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off. http://tfl.nu/bbw4
  Replies (4) Good night (825) Bad night (254)
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  (323): View more from California

  VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.

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  (323): VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL. http://tfl.nu/sras
  Replies (1) Good night (269) Bad night (410)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.

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  (505): I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL. http://tfl.nu/q99g
  Replies (6) Good night (499) Bad night (416)

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