god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Randomize
