Texts From Last Night

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  (630): View more from Illinois

  So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.

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  (630): So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless. http://tfl.nu/sjt0
  Replies (2) Good night (1297) Bad night (611)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns

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  (734): If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns http://tfl.nu/c8s4
  Replies (23) Good night (928) Bad night (3326)
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  (571): View more from Virginia

  i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  so you made the shocked face and they caught you.

  (571): View more from Virginia

  yup.

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  (571): i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise. (570): so you made the shocked face and they caught you. (571): yup. http://tfl.nu/1dzq
  Replies (19) Good night (1540) Bad night (5431)
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  (914): View more from New York

  Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.

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  (914): Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life. http://tfl.nu/7q9y
  Replies (7) Good night (1333) Bad night (3194)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star

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  (202): you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star http://tfl.nu/tu9p
  Replies (11) Good night (3782) Bad night (1188)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands

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  (304): you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands http://tfl.nu/eruj
  Replies (12) Good night (3001) Bad night (1633)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes

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  (910): whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes http://tfl.nu/crfp
  Replies (15) Good night (2280) Bad night (4563)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain

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  (612): i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain http://tfl.nu/an1d
  Replies (3) Good night (3893) Bad night (1048)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.

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  (540): I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge. http://tfl.nu/mw98
  Replies (8) Good night (2682) Bad night (1252)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring

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  (816): I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring http://tfl.nu/n1of
  Replies (2) Good night (2195) Bad night (750)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.

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  (843): God I feel like the rain man of hangovers. http://tfl.nu/3opn
  Replies (3) Good night (953) Bad night (620)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.

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  (519): My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning. http://tfl.nu/s24c
  Replies (20) Good night (3769) Bad night (748)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?

  (1-419): View more from Ohio

  .....fair enough

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  (419): it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong? (1-419): .....fair enough http://tfl.nu/x8b2
  Replies (0) Good night (645) Bad night (352)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!

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  (407): After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday! http://tfl.nu/hf0z
  Replies (3) Good night (631) Bad night (310)
• Favorite

  (618): View more from Illinois

  I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night

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  (618): I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night http://tfl.nu/cx13
  Replies (2) Good night (541) Bad night (196)

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