Quick, to the slutcave!
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?