a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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