return my video game
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Randomize
