saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
