I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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