How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
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