capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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