is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
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