Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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