idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
pop tarts are not kleenex
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Randomize