If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
