Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
