ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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