dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
