i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
