I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
i now understand why vodka
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Randomize