hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
