All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
