Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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