i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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