Christians are straight up FREAKS
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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