White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
