he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
