Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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