Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
