We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I think I am morally bankrupt
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
